A memoir to never be read

transmissioner

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A memoir to never be read

« on: February 14, 2011, 09:29:00 AM »

I doubt this will be seen. The latest post on this website dates around 2009. Subsequently, I will probably never check back to see if this is read. I can imagine that, given that this site still exists, perhaps Rumbaar will check around whenever he desires to satisfy some nostalgia.

I was twelve years old when I first gained interest in the Matrix Online. I'd seen a preview for the game, I believe, on one of the Matrix DVDs -- the details are fuzzy and insignificant, regardless.

I was twelve years old when, after seeing forum signatures on MxO websites, I decided to immerse myself in the world of graphic design.

I was twelve years old when I discovered the beauty and joy in writing.

I am eighteen years old now.

I'm writing this because, as time progresses, the effect this game has had on me -- even though nearly forgotten now -- will permanently define who I am.

Looking back at this website -- which I posted on, I believe between 2004 and 2005 -- has invigorated a sense of nostalgia, sorrow, and longing for an age and a time without complication. I am also engulfed by a deep sense of gratification; the Matrix Online came to me at a time when I was seemingly more educated, more intelligent than I should have been for the age. As a result, I had very little friends and did not expect much of myself; I remember, at that age, thinking how thanks to the Matrix Online I now feel smart. I remember the satisfaction I felt every time someone would say, in utter shock, “there’s no way you’re 12!”

I also gained a strong friend base. I feel very fortunate for, you could say, falling down the rabbit hole and taking the red pill. While many kids, albeit later in their lives than twelve, will play MMORPGs, most specifically World of Warcraft, I am glad that I did not – I am glad I found the Matrix online, for the community to be found at MxO has played an integral part, I believe, in shaping my attitude towards life and people and has harvested a permanent sense of maturity.

As I’ve alluded to above, without the Matrix Online I would not have so easily landed a job at a local web-design business, for I would have not taught myself to use Adobe Photoshop. My love for English, and specifically, grammatical accuracy would not have grown without this game. Now I am a senior in high school and am considering a major in English in college. So the permanency of these childhood fascinations is very much so apparent.

I hate to sound self-indulgent, also; I don’t usually needlessly describe myself, and it is even less often that I express such sentimental notions. But, given the current situation – I.E, no one will probably ever read this – I suppose it is therapeutic and justified to divulge these memories.

Some of my earliest and fondest memories were on this forum specifically. I remember the wonder and mystery of it all. As I’ve grown, I’ve painfully discovered the monotony of lucidity – of understanding and comprehending. I long for the wonder I felt by the notion of continuing my love for the Matrix film trilogy – at being able to immerse myself in a world that was friendlier and more interesting than the life I was currently in. I believe during beta I was even a member of the OS… I am not sure, however, how long I continued this membership. Regardless, it was my first faction, and I do recall Rumbaar being very helpful to the noobish (for lack of a better term) and naïve person that I was.

It is for this reason that I post this here. As I am sure the reader is aware, the MxO forums are no longer in existence. But I feel an expression of my gratitude to this game, the people, the community, and this faction is necessitated. Perhaps more for myself than for you all.

It has been nice chatting. I will probably never see a response, but thanks for reading, if you did.

Alex Hubers (Transmissioner)


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Rumbaar

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Re: A memoir to never be read

« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2011, 08:34:15 AM »

As you can see I do on occasion visit to see how the site is going, as it's been locked down, little changes. But I do keep it around as an archive and indicator that something grand used to exist.

I'm so glad that your time with MxO and this site was a life changing one. At times it's hard to remember that a person is on the other side of that body of text and how actions of others can have such an affect on people. I look back on the MxO days with fond memories, I used to give them such a hard time.

Congratulations on your achievements Alex, I'm happy to read that MxO helped. I'm sure those that worked on the project would be warmed to hear that their work affect you in that way.

Also I never remembered you as a n00b Cheesy

Once again, thank you for posting it was great to see some activity on this site once again. Finally not sure if you've kept up with it, but there is a form of emulator that has allowed a user back into the MxO environment. You might want to check it out, if you ever want to see the sights once again.

Take care and good luck,
Andrew aka Rumbaar aka Draconis


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Inhumancode

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Re: A memoir to never be read

« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2011, 05:22:40 PM »

Wow, I'm so glad I decided to take a walk down memory lane. Sentimental post, man, very deep.

I can relate. I went through some of the most intense experiences of my life over the course of my participation in MxO and specifically, The Omega Syndicate.

You guys were seriously my best friends, the hours and hours I spend kicking back after work or school or whatever, just wandering around the gameworld chatting to whoever was online at the time. I've literally logged hours of conversations with all of you guys. You are all the greatest people I've ever known.

Words can't express it. It's incredibly nostalgic to think of it as a closed chapter of my life, now being at a point where I never talk to any of you. It's surreal. But you'll always be my special family.

I sincerely hope that you're all doing well and leading the best lives ever, because honestly, you all deserve it.

P.S. On a lighter note, I've been looking at my post history and I've realized that I used to type like a rural Eastern European. I cringe at how little sense I used to make.


« Last Edit: November 07, 2011, 06:41:17 PM by Inhumancode »	Logged

´Man, atonement´s a bitch.´

Reikira

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Re: A memoir to never be read

« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2012, 12:49:40 PM »

/sigh
So many incredible memories here and from this world we all found ourselves a part of. I have a DVD of all my MxO stuff from over the years, thousands of screenshots, chat logs, and what-have-yous. One of these days I'm going to crack the seal and dive back in to see what I might find, so many snippets and experiences and fond rememberings from my time in MxO and with the OS.

I read this post some time ago and have been meaning to actually sit down and write about my experiences here but I haven't had the time nor a computer to do this yet, maybe it'll come at some point yet Wink

Until then, I hope everyone is doing well still, and it's been great to come back and still see this site still up and take a little trip down these many memory lanes. Thanks for the pictures Code, many many good times eh?

Take care everyone!

-Rei


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