This photo of the man pretending to be the late Morpheus was snapped by accident by an office worker with a digital camera. He "flew away," according to the photographer.




Officials Seek to Head Off Trend of Using Fireworks on Non-Holidays.

By City Desk
     City officials announced steep increases in fines for using fireworks in city limits today.
     "Some possibly mentally unstable people are setting off fireworks in the street, creating a serious fire hazard. It must stop," a law enforcement agency spokesman said.
     When asked if he was referring to the man masquerading as the (deceased) terrorist "Morpheus," he declined to comment. Reports of the man using fireworks as adjuncts to his speeches are widespread.
     Fines are as follows: First usage, $2000. Second, $4000. Third, $8000 and 30 days in jail.
     In an unusual provision, citizens who aid in the apprehension of violators are awarded the fine moneys. "If your tip causes them to be arrested, or you perform a citizen's arrest,

 you get the dough," said the spokesman.
   To perform a citizen's arrest, one must say, "I arrest you for violating city code 100A, using fireworks in city limits without a license." Reasonable force may be used. Cooperating citizens may share the reward, or, at Judge's discretion, be given duplicate full rewards.
    "We're serious. We don't want this city burned down by whackos," the spokesman said.
     Asked if the recent rains were some safeguard against this, the spokesman declined to comment.
    Most fireworks incidents have been reported in the Downtown and International Districts, but the overall pattern is city-wide.
    No fireworks supplier has been identified. Investigations continue.
    To report a violation, call 555-FIRE (555-3473).


Andres Bonifacieao


    This Just In: Rain falls, Wets Streets.
    Am I missing something? Some clown says he's a deceased shaved-pated, leather-dustered bombthrower, makes incomprehensible mini-speeches around town, and that's news?

You'd think this town wasn't full of leathered-up dudes and dominatrixes strutting the streets and
spewing nonsense about higher realities.
    Wake up, people. We are, for better or worse, a magnet for these chic'ed up weirdos. It's the culture of the town. It makes our nightclubs more colorful, and more headaches for law enforcement authorities, but there it is.
    Yet my contact downtown says there's a full-on red alert for this ersatz Morpheus character (real name: We'renot T. Elling).

Please See Column on A2
City officials say terrorist sighting was actually local eccentric.

By SENTINEL STAFF

     City law enforcement officials say the speech-making man purporting to be Morpheus, the infamous terrorist, is actually a local eccentric well known to authorities.
     Morpheus was killed in Southern Asia last year, they said.
    This man, whose identity is being withheld by request of his family, has been in and out of institutions for the past twenty years. He has at other times believed himself to be opera singer Paul Robeson, Hatian founder Toussaint L'Ouverture, anticommunist writer George Schuyler, and Jesus Christ.
     A Sentinel reporter caught two of his brief orations -- the man speaks briefly, then runs to a different venue, before authorities can apprehend him. "He's creating a public nuisance, speaking without a permit, and has repeatedly incited riot. That's illegal." A spokesman said.
     Speeches heard by our reporter confirm this description. "Listen to me. We must strain the system in every way we can. Only when the May tricks collapse is imminent will they return, they won." The meaning of this statement is unclear, but evidently he is referring to an event two months from now.
     The man continued: "Redpills should passively resist. Wreck things in little ways. Use your powers. Hype your junk, as often as you can. The illusion will fall the more you're observed."
     At this, the man left, and the crowd seemed to thin by half all at once. Our reporter admits confusion; he said it was as though people flew off in all directions, even into the sky. None of the remaining bystanders interviewed could understand quite what happened.
     A second encounter with the "Morpheus wanna-be" involved this speech: "We must prove we're ready to take it all down if they don't return the one." The one what? He doesn't say. "Challenge the agents. Invade forbidden zones. A thousand stings brings down a great beast, or at least turns it aside."
     At this some black-suited men arrived in a black vehicle. The imposter seemed alarmed. There was a fireworks flash, and "Morpheus" was gone. Fireworks have been used repeatedly at his mini-speeches, according to witnesses. One man who refused to be identified said the flash transformed one of the listeners, somehow.
     Authorities are investigating to see if fireworks regulations have been violated.


    Seeking cowboy hat wearing adventurer! Getting tired of always doing what you are told, following the rules, paying your taxes? Let's walk on the wild side! (Box258)

    Afraid of all this talk about reds and terrorists? Then let's scare up some fun on our own. Meet me at Debir Court Friday night. Kung Fu grip not required. (Box423)

    Do you feel like everyone is not what they seem, and your nights hollow and strangely empty? Then let's meet at Polyvinyl and live the life fantastic. (Box123)